KYLE SIMON: KEEP THE MUSTACHE

Thanks to the “gentlemen” at @PhoulBallz for the news on Kyle Simon:

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I’d like to see this nutty guy in the majors at some point.

2013 Philadelphia Phillies Photo Day

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MORE GREAT TRADE OPINIONS FROM PHILLIES FANS

These keep me sane while I’m studying for finals. Translation: I know I’m okay because I would never agree with any of this.

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TROLLING OR NOT: IS CHOOCH TRADE BAIT?

I’m pretty sure these Phillies fans are serious. Thanks to @hiphop_jorge for bringing these to my attention.

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WELCOME TO BASEBALL HEAVEN!

The St. Louis Cardinals, last year’s World Series champions, were dumped by the Giants in a (not so) thrilling game 7 two nights ago. And the Cardinals fanbase took it with class and maturity…or most of them did.

One look at the Twitter account @BestFansStLouis, and you’ll quickly realize that these really aren’t “baseball’s best fans” and that St. Louis isn’t “Baseball Heaven” like Scott Rolen once so famously declared. There are actually some pretty reprehensible people among the Cardinals fanbase, whose frustrations are usually tied back to someone being a “faggot,” “pussy,” or some random racial slur. One “creative” tweet I saw stated that “SF” stood for “super fags” and not “San Francisco.” Good one.

It surely doesn’t have anything to do with someone having a bad game or the other team playing better!

This account has easily been the best part of the postseason so far (except the baseball, of course)

As we all know, every team has ballbags like this as fans, and furthermore, the whole media narrative of the Cards having the “best fans” is utter bullshit. Their fans are no worse or no better than ones rooting for other teams. Sorry guys, you’re just not that special.

Among all of the retweets from @BestFansStLouis, I found a guy who made some particularly appalling comments – future lawyer Josh T. For starters, don’t most law students and attorneys lock their accounts? And beyond that, there’s your run-of-the-mill latent sexism on display, and of course, racism! But don’t worry, it’s ok, some of his best friends are black/Latino.

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BASEBALL WAS REALLY AWESOME TONIGHT

Admittedly, I missed most of the action tonight since I was in class. I was sort of half paying attention to the O’s-Yankees game on my phone, but I had no idea what happened in the exciting A’s-Tigers game until well after the fact.

Let’s recap. With the Orioles leading 2-1, future Hall of Famer Raul Ibanez came in to pinch hit for always clutch New York Hero A-Rod. This is what happened.


(Click on the image above to view the video)

And in the 12th inning, Raul did it all over again. So much for that vaunted Baltimore bullpen.


(Click on the image above to view the video)

Meanwhile in Oakland, things were shaping up to be much more exciting. Heading into the bottom of the 9th, the Tigers led 3-1 with Jose Valverde on the mound, so basically game/series/season over for the A’s. But not really, because Seth Smith hit a double with two men on, making it 3-3.


(Click on the image above to view the video)

And then a couple batters later, Coco Crisp lined a single into rightfield to win the game and force a game 5.


(Click on the image above to view the video)

And to make matters worse for the Tigers, the clubhouse attendants had to tear down the plastic tarp in their locker room.

What a night. I wish I could have sat on my ass the entire day and watched all four games! Or at least the two exciting ones.

The O’s and A’s win tomorrow so we’ll be one step closer to having every baseball nerd’s favorite ALCS.


REALIGNMENT REVISIT: HOW THE PLAYOFFS WOULD LOOK IN MY ALTERNATE REALITY

Over the summer I asked myself the question, “How would MLB look if the divisions and leagues as we know them were completely destroyed in favor of a geographically-based alignment?” Here it is again if you missed it the first time.

Now that the season is over and yesterday was one of those real sad days without baseball, I decided to take a look and see who would be going to the playoffs if the real MLB records were applied to my realignment. I guess this is like fan fiction or something.

Here goes:

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WHEN MELOSPIZA MELODIA ATTACKS

It’s the last week of the season and not unexpectedly, the Yankees-Red Sox tilt has playoff implications. But this year it’s only the team from New York who will be playing deep into October.

With the Yankees heading into the night one game ahead of Baltimore (who won against Tampa Bay), they were hoping for another Red Sox rollover to keep the pressure on the Orioles. It wouldn’t be so easy though, as the game went into extras.

At a crucial point during the top of the 12th, the Yankee infield had a visitor, but this time it wasn’t a cat, squirrel, or streaker. It was Melospiza melodia, commonly known as the Song Sparrow. It spent a bit of time hanging Jeter and one of the umps, and then played some grabass with the Yankee Stadium crew member.

Looking straight into the camera’s eye.

The Yankees won 4-3 in 12 innings.