NFL DRAFT LIVE BLOG: NIGHT 1!

9:13 This is boring and I want to shoot myself. Changing the channel.

9:07: Jon Gruden likes someone.

9:06: Smart guy, must have been taking lessons from Ben Revere.
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9:04: The entire time watching this draft, all I can think about this what would Adam Aron do?

8:52: The Eagles are fucked
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8:51: Brother Mouzone chosen by the Lions. What a story! He came from another country to play in the NFL! No one has ever done that before.

8:46: Building a football team is like a Lego set with many different pieces. Chris Berman is very deep.

8:45: No one likes the Lane Johnson pick, which means he’ll be successful in Philly.

8:43: EAGLES SELECT LANE MEYERS

8:42: OR-A-GON

8:38: EAGLES ON THE CLOCK, EAGLES ON THE CLOCK. ::PULLS HAIR OUT::

8:37: “great competitor” drink

8:35: BREAKING: Jon Gruden likes him.

8:34: The Doplphins jumped into the third spot. They picked Dion Jordan. Chris Berman describes it as a “curveball”

8:33: Oh shit, a trade. High drama.

8:28: This is starting late because I only thought about doing this two minutes ago. I urge you to pause your TVs right now and stare at Mel Kiper’s hair. Closely. Intently.

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BOBBY HOYING?

I really hope this is the real Bobby Hoying on Twitter. But it probably isn’t.

Can’t be…can it?

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EAGLES VS. BUCS AS TOLD BY CARTOONS

Rob Tornoe is the creator of Delaware Punchline and a sports cartoonist for the Philadelphia Inquirer. I like his work, and he seems real like a real nice guy.

Unlike many others in his line of work, he’s embraced social media and it’s brought him quite a few new fans.

As the final seconds of the fourth quarter tick away and the Birds shockingly have a chance of winning, here’s what Tornoe has drawn up already during the game.

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For Eagles fans, everything is Andy Reid’s fault.

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Another game, another slew of injuries for the Eagles.

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The Eagles defense is much improved since ditching the Wide 9.

And to cap off the win (since I was too slow putting this post together):

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Wow, anyone else need some Maalox?

Eagles win as time expires, Foles to Maclin. How about that?

The 8-game losing streak is over, but the team still stinks.


NEW EAGLES FIGHT SONG

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(Today’s front cover of the Daily News)

The promise of Dropsies Brown!

Jim Washburn fired, although this tidbit about him being fired before the game is funny.

In honor of last night’s game, here’s the new Eagles fight song:

FLY EAGLES FLY
ON THE ROAD TO A MODERATELY HIGH DRAFT PICK
FIGHT EAGLES FIGHT
COUGH UP A TURNOVER 1-2-3 (TIMES EACH GAME)

HIT ‘EM HIGH
HIT ‘EM LOW
BUT NOT HARD ENOUGH BECAUSE NOW THEY’VE BROKEN THE TACKLE AND RUN ANOTHER 20 YARDS

FLY EAGLES FLY, ON THE ROAD TO MEDIOCRITY
A-W-F-U-L AWFUL!


BEATING A DEAD HORSE


(Tuesday 11/27/12 Daily News front page, as shared by @BoopStats)

Beating a dead horse seems to be the best way to describe the Eagles right now. I know they’re bad, you know they’re bad, and the team probably knows they’re bad. And while each loss may be awful, the team seems to eclipse it the following week with an even shittier performance. Congrats, Eagles, you managed to look fucking terrible against the Panthers, who are really bad.

The “Eagles are a terrible team” horse was beat once again. We get it, we really do.

This is a bad I haven’t seen in a long time, maybe not since my early college days (late ’90s). While the injuries to key players like Vick, McCoy, and now DeSean are largely unpredictable (well not with Vick), but everything else is not. Andy Reid, who is always looking to put his players in a position to win, has seen almost nothing go right.

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FORK IN THE ROAD (AND OTHER CLICHES)

I’ve got to do better, it’s all my fault, you can put the blame on me, I didn’t put my players in a position to win, etc, etc, etc, etc.

You know how people say that it always gets worse before it gets better. Today was the worse, and I hope we can look back and say it was the worst.

The cartoon is from the Inky’s Rob Tornoe.


DALLAS WEAK

The 3-5 Eagles welcome the 3-5 Cowboys to the Linc for a mesmerizing matchup between two underachieving and uninspiring football teams. But one only needs to look at the entire NFC East to know that the uninspired bug has bitten every team.

From Daily News reporter William Bender:

And then there’s this, courtesy of ESPN’s Sports Center Twitter:

So this is Dallas Week, huh? I can’t remember things being this quiet and ho-hum during Dallas Week in a very long time, and definitely not in the Andy Reid era. But it’s hard to stay excited about a team that keeps repeating dumb mistakes and looks like garbage each week on the field. And that doesn’t have anything to do with what type of fan someone is.

Does Andy need to go? What if the Eagles finish 9-7, or better? What if they somehow back into the playoffs and make the Super Bowl (unlikely, I know)?

As a former Andy Reid supporter – and one of the most vocal – he needs to go, at least from the sidelines. And so do most of the players, outside of guys like LeSean McCoy, Brent Celek, and some others. Very few guys should be a lock to stay.

Who’s the next head coach? I haven’t the faintest idea, but I am not a Gruden fan.

The game starts in an hour, so get your barf bags ready. If anything, the Eagles may suck this season (and probably next season, too), but at least that jitbag you went to high school with who’s still a Cowboys bandwagoner is also suffering.

Until the Eagles reel off a few good wins in a row, this is what we’re looking at – a shitty team whose season is essentially over.