DEAR GHOSTFACE, BE MY FRIEND

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Thanks to a certain hip-hop warrior from Staten Island, I’ve been woken from my blogging slumber. Our good friend Ghostface Killah posted his 2nd Annual “Top 10 Softest Rappers in the Game.” And it’s as genius as basically every album he’s ever dropped.

This list is a little old, but it’s spot on. Here are some of the highlights:

10. Lupe Fiasco: “This nigga makin will.i.am. seem like DMX yo.”
8. T.I.: “No Mercy was audio nyquil son. If you listen close you could actually hear snoring in the background through all those songs n shit b.”
7. B.O.B.: “The nigga probably serenades birds n squirrels namsayin.”
6. Puffy: “Thanks for Biggie son…..but please get the fuck outta here. Puff is like the nigga at the party that wont go home.”
5. Swizz Beat: “Aka the McRib of hip hop.”
4. Chris Brown: “…aka Young Ike Turner aka the most emotional nigga alive aka FUCK THIS NIGGAS LIFE.”
3. Mac Miller: “Somebody needs to pour this milk dud midget muthafucka back into his Aveeno bottle n throw that shit into the ocean.”
2. Yung Berg: “If you cant remember the punchline to a joke all you gotta say is ‘Yung Berg’ n you gon get the same laughs anyway nahmean.”
1. Wheelchair Jimmy aka Aubrey aka Drake Snack Cakes: “This niggas moms n pops basically got Rick Rolled when the doctor said ‘Its a boy!'”